What Is A Marriage In Islam?

In Islam a marriage is solemnized by a nikah –
this is a marriage contract. After the nikah
the marriage should be consummated, and then
the couple should have a walimah- which is a
dinner to celebrate the marriage- this is done
to let others know about the marriage in sha
Allaah.
The walimah is a simple dinner to celebrate the
marriage. You make food, or cater it out. Then
you invite everyone to let them know you’re
married now. This event can be held in your
home, back yard, a park, masjid, community
center, or a hall. This is the one event everyone
thinks has to be BIG. Well let’s see how the
Prophet (salla Allahu alihi wa sallam) did it.
Anas (RA) describes one of the walimah’s
hosted by the Prophet (salla Allahu alihi wa
sallam):
“The Prophet stayed for three days at a place
between Khaibar and Medina, and there he
consummated his marriage with Safiyya bint
Huyay (RA). I invited the Muslims to a banquet
which included neither meat nor bread. The
Prophet (salla Allahu alihi wa sallam) ordered
for the leather dining sheets to be spread, and
then dates, dried yogurt and butter were
provided over it, and that was the Walima
(banquet) of the Prophet (salla Allahu alihi wa
sallam).” (Reported by Bukhari)
Now there is nothing wrong with having a nice
walimah, however it should be according to how
much money the groom has. The groom should
not have to go into debt due to having a BIG
walimah.
So how do we keep our marriage simple?
Have only the immediate family at the nikah.
Make a list of the immediate family and
friends that you want to invite to the Walimah.
If you financially do not have the funds to
invite all of those people for an entire meal,
you should just have cake and tea for
everyone. However, if you have the walimah at
a park or a free location, then in sha Allaah
ordering food or cooking for 100 people should
not cost too much inshAllaah.
On many occasions people make their Walimah a
potluck. Every family brings a dish and this
way everyone shares in the cost and it helps
the bride and groom.
In conclusion, my dearest sisters and brothers
even if you have the finances, do not waste it
on a BIG walimah, instead give some to the
poor. Maybe send money to a charity
organization and let them make a feast in a
poor country and feed them as a gift to your
selves. Subhan’Allaah imagine the good deeds
that you’ll get, In sha’ Allah. Another thing you
can do with the money is pay for another
couple to have a walimah and get married who
are too poor to do it. Lastly, spend the money
on better uses for yourselves. Maybe the two of
you can go to Hajj, Umrah, buy a house interest
free, etc.