COURTING/DATING IN ISLAM

ASSALAMU ALAIKUM WA REHMATULLAHI WA BARKATUH

BETTER HALF BETTER LIFE

COURTING/DATING IN ISLAM

"Dating" as it is currently practiced in much of the world does not exist among Muslims. Young Muslim men and women (or boys and girls) do not enter into one-on-one intimate relationships, spending time alone together, "getting to know each other" in a very deep way before deciding whether that's the person they will marry.

Rather, in Islam pre-marital relationships of any kind between members of the opposite sex is forbidden.

Why?
The choice of a marriage partner is one of the most important decisions a person will make in his or her lifetime. It should not be taken lightly, nor left to chance or hormones. It should be taken as seriously as any other major decision in life - with prayer, careful investigation, and family involvement.
⭐⭐A relationship outside the confines of marriage is essentially haram. If you meet someone and there is a mutual attraction. You do it the right way. He informs your family. You do not get too cozy by exchanging text messages and calls. You do it the right way. If he is serious, he 'd contact your guardian.⭐⭐

 

Before making a decision to marry this person, you guys can have conversations in the presence of your mahram (guardian), not locked up in a room. The guardian doesn't have to sit on the same table with you; basically your conversation has to be in an open area. This is a very important point and you should take advantage by finding out as much as you can about your potential spouse.

Ask the tough questions and see how you both get along in conversations. Is he/she comfortable with your aspirations? What does he look for in a spouse?

WARNING!

It is not permissible for her under any circumstances to be alone with him (khulwah) before marriage. It is well known that in such meetings the none of them show their true nature, but rather they are on their best behaviors and trying to make a good impression. Even if they were to be alone or to go out, they will not show their true character. Many of those who go out with a fiancé in this sinful manner end up in tragedy and these sinful steps, whether they were taken in private or in public, do not bring any benefits.

Often the fiancé will use sweet words and play with the emotions of his fiancée when he goes out with her, and he shows her his best side, but when she makes enquiries about him and tries to find out more about him, she will discover something entirely different. So going out with him or being alone with him does not solve the problem. Even if for the sake of argument we were to say that it does serve some purpose in finding out about the man's character, the resulting sin and possibility of leading to bad consequences is far greater than that (potential benefit). This is why Islam forbids being alone with a strange (non-mahram) man – and the fiancé is still a stranger.

✨The Prophet said, "Whenever a man is alone with a woman the Devil makes a third." (Sahih Bukhari)✨

You can meet multiple times if needed but all in the presence of a guardian; If you have things in particular that put you off then make sure you ask him/her about it and ask him/her to be honest because it will lead to problems in future, do not hesitate in this matter even if the Qs are a little embarrassing ask it in a dignified manner without offending the person.

After this, you make a decision whether you want him as a husband, he also decides whether he wants you as a wife. When there is an agreement, you start making plans for marriage. "Do not prevent them from marrying their husbands when they agree between themselves in a lawful manner." [Noble Quran 2:232]

✅ During the whole process you can do Isitikhaara as many times as you want to seek Allah’s help in making the right deisicion and InshaAllah it will be the right one for you for this world & the Hereafter. ✅

Just remember, Marriage is Simple, after all this there is no guarantee it will work; but if you have two people that believe in and love Allah.. Then no matter what happens you know that the rights of the other will not be violated.