Adam Ali

Adam Ali

Abu Dawud

Abu Dawud

Abdullah Rolle

Abdullah Rolle

Album : Patience

Special

Is It True

55 WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HAPPY MARRIAGE LIFE IN ISLAM

Bismillah Walhamdulillah Was Salaatu Was Salaam 'ala Rasulullah.
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# Marriage is a highly recommended Sunnah of Our Beloved Prophet Muhammad (Peace And Blessings Of Allah Be Upon Him).
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The purpose of marriage in Islam is to increase the Muslim community and not only to enjoy pleasure as Muhammad (SAW) said; “Multiply your wives, multiply your children and I shall be proud of you on the Day of Judgement.”
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Although marriage is encouraged in Islam, Allah and his Messenger Muhammad (SAW) haven't left us to our rationality to discover what marriage entails and what things make a successful marriage. The following few pages highlight what makes a happy marriage based on the Qu'ran and Sunnah and how the husband and wife can gain each others heart.
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Abdullah Ibn Masud (ra) narrated: “We used to sit with the Prophet (SAW) and we didn't have much money. He (SAW) said ‘Whoever can marry should marry, it will help him lower his gaze or he should fast.” [Collected in Bukhari, Muslim and Musnad Imam Ahmed]
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“And if you fear that you will not be able to deal justly with the orphan girls then marry (other) women of your choice, two, three or four; but if you fear that you will not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice.” [Al-Qur'an 4:03]
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“And marry those among you that are single and (also marry) the Salihun (pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid-servants (female slaves). If they be poor Allah will enrich them out of His bounty. And Allah is All-Sufficient for His creatures' needs, All-Knowing (about the state of the people).” [Al-Qur'an 24:32]
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1. "Short separation (days) will strengthen the marriage but long separation can weaken the relationship."
As they say ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder.
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2. "Understand each others fitrah (The fitrah is the natural disposition of a person e.g. Allah has created man and women with certain qualities that are innate in them)."
Prophet Muhammad (SAW) states that “Every person is born on a state of fitrah, it is their parents that change them to a Jew, Christian or Fire worshipper.” Both the husband and wife must realise not to challenge each others fitrah but can account each other by their fitrah.
Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said to his daughter Fatima; ‘O Fatima, Allah has made Ali on a certain fitrah that you should know about.”
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3. "Try and solve disputes on the same day."
Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said, “Don't let disputes stay until the next day but solve it the same day.”
# Shaytan is always there to cause fitna for people especially between the husband and wife so its important not to let disputes last longer than a day otherwise small issues will seem very big.
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4. "Don't speak about your past!" Islam forbids speaking about your jahilliyah (days of before practising Islam).
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5. "Stay away from idealism and live your lives naturally."
A couple came to Prophet (SAW) and said ‘we make mistakes' and He (SAW) said ‘you are not perfect'.
Always evaluate the problem and don't pretend or expect miracles.
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6. "Convey your love and warm feelings to each other."
The wife of Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said: “The Prophet (SAW) never let a day pass without showing his affection.”
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7. "Fight against your own problems and don't share anger with your spouse."
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8. "Do not be critical of each other." Prophet (SAW) said “Do not be critical”. All type of criticism is forbidden in Islam.
Islam allows certain type of lying in order to maintain a good relationship e.g. complementing on the wife's cooking even if it doesn't taste nice!
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9. "When disputing with your partner don't expand the argument by adding all other previous disputes."
Prophet (SAW) said “Dare any of you who sleeps with his wife in the night and then critises her in the morning.”
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10."Never doubt your spouse."
Doubting each other can lead to the destruction of the marriage.
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11."Trust your partner and show you have full confidence in them."
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12. "Pick a suitable spouse for yourself but also make sure that you are also compatible for your spouse."
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A man came to the Prophet Muhammad (saw) after seeing a woman for the purpose of marriage and said ‘She is of good Deen but her father refuses' He (saw) replied ‘did you look to yourself?' (This man never went for jihad or was see among the men of Medina ). The man replied ‘Ya Rasulullah, verily you have spoken the truth”
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13. "The main pillar to maintain good relationship between the husband and wife is purity hence cleanliness of body and house etc is important."
Once a woman complained to the Prophet (saw) about her husband's bad odour.
The Messenger Muhammad (saw) said “None of you who believe in Allah, spits and covers it.”
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14. "You need to sacrifice to maintain relationship."
The Messenger Muhammad (saw) said; “Sacrifice is the best gift between the husband and wife.”
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15. "Advise from sahabiyat to her daughter; “Care about your husband like you care about yourself and love for your partner what you love for yourself.”
The Messenger Muhammad (saw) will never eat before his wives as mentioned in a hadith “ The best amongst you is the one who raises the food and feeds his wife.”
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16. "Give your spouse gifts." Exchanging gifts will cause more inclinations towards each other and strengthen the relationship.
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17. "Don't be selfish!" Give and take, don't always take.
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18. "Don't accuse your spouse for problems e.g. by saying ‘You did it' or ‘it's your fault.'
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19. Live for the day and don't worry about tomorrow. Allah knows whether or not you are going to wake up in the morning!
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20."Always remember that marriage is a divine bond, so think twice before doing something on the impulse which you will regret later."
The Messenger Muhammad (saw) said; “Three things that are serious; marriage, divorce and freeing the slave.”
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21. "Although love is an essential part of marriage, do not take it for granted and abuse each other thinking that your spouse will always love you regardless of ill treatment."
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22. "Be an example to your spouse and let your actions tell and convey your personality." Prophet Muhammad (saw) said; “To change your partner the way you wish, be the model for them.”
“Pray Qiyaam with your wife.”
Once Fatima (ra) the daughter of the Prophet Muhammad (saw) asked ‘How can I be closer to Ali (ra)?' He (saw) replied ‘Pray Qiyaam ul-Layl with him and whenever he wakes up, wake up with him.'
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23. "Do not let parents, relatives or neighbours interfere with your marriage."
Try to reconcile between yourselves as much as you can and if that's not possible than allow a trustworthy Muslim to arbitrate.
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24. "Don't rush into correcting differences which you perceive in your partner. There are some matters that can only be changed with time."
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25. "The couple must both accept the consequences and responsibilities that marriage brings and be satisfied."
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26. "Do not embarrass or humiliate your partner especially in the presence of other people."
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27. "Participate in collective activities together."
Co-operating with each other will bring a sense of family life e.g. Picnics,dawah projects etc.
The Prophet Muhammad used to do collective things with his wives.
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28. "Do not look down to your spouse or ridicule their capability rather let your spouse express themselves.
The Prophet Muhammad (saw); “The good husband is the one when the speaks he listens and when she complains he is concerned.”
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29. "The financial right (Naafaqah) of the wife is something serious and her husband must fulfil it."
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30. "Do not share your sadness and misery with your spouse rather exchange jokes and laughter."
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31. "Do not allow your friends to interfere in your marriage."
Aisha (ra) the wife of Muhammad (saw) once said to the women of the Ansar “Watch out! Do not give room for your friends to interfere in your own privacy.”
Part of a man's fitrah is that he has the right of authority in the family as the head of the household and also that no one should know about his affairs.
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32. "Let your husband feel that you are content with him and that you are proud of him.
Prophet Muhammad (saw) “Do not compare your husband with another
man and don not compare your wife with another woman.”
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33. "During times of disputes remember the goodness of your spouse."
Prophet Muhammad (saw) said; “The good deed abolishes the bad deed”
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34. "Abu Bakr (ra) said: “In order to understand the character and goodness of your partner, and to fight defection, remember;"
What you like about your partner?
What happy experience has passed you two?
What things you did together?”
Umar bin Khattab (ra) said: “The good man is the one who makes his partner like him and appreciate him.”
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35. "Be careful not to use abusive words during times of disputes."
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36. "Have celebrations with the family." The Prophet Muhammad used to encourage his daughter Fatima (ra) and Ali (ra) to celebrate with their children.
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37. "The intelligent wife is the one who asks her husband for things at the right time e.g. don't ask for a expensive dress if you know he can't afford it!"
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38. The Prophet Muhammad (saw) said; “Three things that should not be used My dignity, My status, My pride.”
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39. "Do not abolish the presence of your partner. Always have consult your partner, even if it's for small issues like grocery shopping."
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40. "Do not run away from home!" If you want to discipline the wife for doing something sinful then separate from the bed but don't leave home.
The Messenger Muhammad (saw) said; “Don't run away from home”
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41. "Do not anger your husband by asking too many unnecessary questions and vice versa."
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42. "Do not desert the husband at home."
Umar bin Khattab disciplined a woman for that and said to her; ‘Are you a woman or a man?'
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43. "Do not exchange roles!" Allah (SWT) has clearly defined the rights and responsibilities of the husband and wife hence it is not proper for us to swap them. A woman must remember even if she is working, her husband, children and home would always come first.
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44. "Respect the In-laws."
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45. The Prophet Muhammad (saw) said; “Honour your mother in-law and call her by the best names (according to the tradition).”
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46."Don't let the neighbour interfere." The Prophet Muhammad (saw) said; “Look after your neighbours and participate with them in happiness and sadness and always command them to obey Allah.”
Disclosing family secrets is not participating in sadness!
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47. "Be careful not to have disputes frequently, it will jeopardise the relationship."
Learn to sacrifice in issues of permissibility in order to maintain tranquility.
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48. "Always establish quietness, calmness and tranquillity in the home."
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49. "Do not interfere with your partner when they are disciplining the children except in an emergency where your spouse is violating the shari'ah."
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50. "Look after your children and maintain a high standard of upbringing e.g. clothing, feeding etc."
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51. "Listen to your husband and try not to forget to do things for which he has asked you to do."
The Prophet Muhammad (saw) said ; “Teach your wife the chapter of An-Nisa, Al-Maida, An-Nur (from the Qu'ran).”
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52. "Shari'ah must be the center of your lives and obedience to your husband is one of the means to Jannah.
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53. "Remember that Allah will always test you and there will be times that you may have domestic problems but remember every problem doesn't mean the end!"
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54. "Avoid arguing with each other especially in front of children."
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55. "The wife should not allow anyone to enter her home without the permission of her husband."
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[PLEASE DON,T FORGET TO SHARE]
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May Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala) make us among the righteous ones and may He give us joy, peace and happiness in our Marriage. Aameen.

HOW SURATUD DUHA CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

Many of us know surah ad-duha off by heart and have probably read its meaning many times as well, which seems quite straightforward. How many of us, though, have actually gone into the reason behind its revelation and derived the lessons and implications this surahhas in our lives?

This surah was revealed to Prophet Muhammad (saw) at a time when he had not received any revelation for six months, not even in the form of a dream! The Prophet (saw) was in a very disturbed state of mind, feeling negative and depressed and believing that Allah was displeased with him, had forgotten him, and did not want him as a Nabianymore.

Don’t we have similar feelings in our lives? Times when our level of imaan is low, our khushoo in salah wavers and we feel a drop in our connection with Allah? We feel like our duas are not being answered, our salah is not having a positive impact on our hearts, and worst of all the feeling that we’re horrible human beings, that Allah doesn’t love us or doesn’t care about us anymore.

"Surah Ad-Duha"was revealed to the Prophet (saw) to relieve him of these negative feelings and to give him hope, positivity, and the assurance that Allah is with him no matter what. From it we too can find peace, hope, and a renewed faith in Allah when we go through similar states of depression, sadness, and hopelessness.

So what does this surah say?

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"Wad duhaa".

By the morning brightness

This is the first thing you need to hear when you’re depressed: Wake up, look at the sunshine! Everything in life is not doom and gloom– you just have to look up!

"Wal laili iza sajaa".

And [by] the night when it covers with darkness,

Why is this aayah immediately talking about darkness? As a reminder to us that the night is meant to cover and give us comfort and rest.

Generally when we’re depressed, we tend to get into a very bad sleep pattern by staying up at night and sleeping all day, thereby worsening our state of mind. This aayah reminds us to use the night as a comfort to ease our distress.

"Ma wad da’aka rabbuka wa ma qalaa".

Your Lord has not taken leave of you, [O Muhammad], nor has He detested [you].

This is a very powerful verse from Allah telling us that He doesn’t hate us and hasn’t forgotten us– reminding the depressed person that He is always by his or her side!

"Walal-aakhiratu khairul laka minal-oola".

And the Hereafter is better for you than the first [life].

Many times when we’re depressed we think: Is this all my life is going to be? Is it never going to get better?

This aayah serves as a perfect answer to those questions, reminding us that life in this world is temporary and that Aakhirais certainly a better, more permanent place for us than this world could ever be.

This makes us look forward to attaining our place in Jannah and helps us look at any problems in our lives as temporary tests of our faith from Allah.

"Wa la sawfa y’uteeka rabbuka fatarda".

And your Lord is going to give you, and you will be satisfied.

A promise from Allah that very soon he will give us a massive reward (Jannah) and we will be happy! Subhanallah!

Isn’t this the best thing to hear when you’re depressed and fed up with this worldly life and the problems you’re facing?

"Alam ya jidka yateeman fa aawaa".

Did He not find you an orphan and give [you] refuge?

From this verse onwards, Allah gives us reason to believe His declarations and promises in the first half of the surah.

Now many of us may think:  how would this aayah about orphans relate to the majority of us? Think about it– weren’t there many times in your life when you were sick or lonely and felt like you had nobody who cared about you? Who was the only one by your side at that time? Allah! It was He who took care of you and guided you out of that stage in life.

"Wa wa jadaka daal lan fahada".

And He found you lost and guided [you].

How many of us, despite being born Muslims, have found ourselves misguided and straying away from Islam in the past? It was Allah who gave us that hidaya and brought us back to the straight path and to Him and made us practicing Muslims. Alhamdulillah!

"Wa wa jadaka ‘aa-ilan fa aghnaa".

And He found you poor and made [you] self-sufficient.

Many of us have probably gone through many periods in our lives when we have been short of money and wealth. Now when we look back we realize that it was only Allah who gave us that rizq in some form and got us through those tough financial times.

When a person is depressed, giving him or her examples of how Allah has helped them in the past will strengthen their conviction and belief in the promises Allah makes in this surah for their future.

"Fa am mal yateema fala taqhar".

So as for the orphan, do not oppress [him].

This aayah is the ultimate antidote to depression!

Depressed people are mostly consumed with their situation and feel that nobody could possibly be in a worse situation.

This aayah reminds us to look at people who are in far worse situations than ourselves when we’re feeling hopeless and depressed— Look at the orphans,who have no family or loved ones and nobody to care for them. We have families and parents who love us, a roof over our heads and food on the table and we still think we’re in a bad situation? Subhanallah!

"Wa am mas saa-ila fala tanhar".

And as for the petitioner, do not repel [him].

Another example is of the beggar – to once again remind us of the many material blessings that Allah has given us that we take for granted – food, clothing and shelter. How many of us have ever gone to sleep hungry? How many of us don’t have clothes to wear? Or don’t have a home to go to?

These examples of the orphan and the beggar are ones we should constantly remind ourselves of to be thankful for the numerous blessings Allah has given us, get over our depression and feel connected to Allah again, out of gratitude.

"Wa amma bi ne’mati rabbika fahad dith". 

But as for the favor of your Lord, report [it].

This final aayah is about maintaining that renewed faith and bond with Allah – by pondering, glorifying and talking about the blessings of Allah! Either in terms of halaqas, discussions with family and friends or even da’wah! Dhikr, reading quran and listening to lectures are also great ways to keep the remembrance of Allah close to your heart!

So the next time you feel disconnected, disheartened or depressed with your level of Imaan and your connection with Allah – read Surah Ad Duha and ponder over its meanings – Inshallah it will restore your faith and increase your belief.